I’m Taking A Break…

Taking A Break

A few days ago I made a very important decision but when I sit & think about it, I should have made this decision a while ago already. Things have been a rollercoaster ride for me lately, and as I sit down to write this blog post I don’t even know how much detail about my personal life I want to share.  I have so much I want to say, and yet I don’t know where to start.

I recently read this article titled ‘Being special isn’t so special’ and it really got me thinking…

I’ll apologise in advance if this blog post is a bit all over the place, I’m feeling under the weather and I’ve only had one cup of coffee today (no food, no snacks, just coffee).

I’ve always struggled with anxiety and depression, I was very nervous as a child and never quite understood my feelings of anxiety and despondency.  I thought it was normal to feel stressed and uneasy all the time, but secretly I also hoped that it was just a phase I would grow out of.  I know high school is very stressful for most people but for me it was more than that.  I felt isolated most of the time, and although I had good friends with whom I could laugh and sometimes cry, I still felt quite lonely.  I never showed people who I really was on the inside, I tried to share only snippets of my personality – the parts I knew people would be able to tolerate, or maybe even like / love.  I’m not going to go into too much detail about my childhood, but let’s just say I had to deal with a lot at a very young age.

I don’t want anyone to feel sorry for me, and family & friends who know me (really know me) will all agree that I am the last person to ask for sympathy.  I am writing this blog post because I have always tried to keep it real here on the blog and I have always tried to include you (as much as I can) in my blog-related decisions.  The last thing I want is for anyone to think I am a lazy sack of poo, who can’t be bothered to make an effort anymore.  It’s not like that at all, I still love blogging but something has got to give…and at this moment in time, that ‘thing’ is YouTube.

Vlogging (blogging in the form of a video) has been stressing me out a lot lately – I constantly feel like I need to film a video and once I’ve prepped and filmed the video, I’m not always happy with what the footage looks like.  Prepping for the video takes about 1 to 2 hours, filming the actual video takes about 45 minutes to an hour (yes, even a 10 minute video on YouTube takes that long to film), and then we get to editing of the video.  Editing is extremely time-consuming, editing 40-minute footage down to a 10-minute video can take up to 6 or 7 hours.

Imagine sitting in front of a screen and watching footage of yourself for 5 or 6 hours.  Non-stop.  You start to see all the unattractive things about yourself.  You take note of things that you never would have noticed otherwise – the double chin, the uneven bottom teeth, the tone of your voice, the way you say certain words, the asymmetrical features.  It’s not pleasant, and although I’ve always had insecurities, my low self-esteem has been exacerbated in a major way because of this.

I can’t tell you how many times I have filmed a video only to see the lighting was completely off, or the video was out of focus or I had lipstick on my teeth.  Working so hard on something only to have to scrap the whole video is disappointing to say the least.  And each time I feel like a failure.

I have an extreme Type A personality, and although I am thankful that it motivates me to be better every single day, it also means I’m very self-critical, and always want everything to be perfect.  It often feels like I strive toward goals (which is a good thing) but then won’t feel a sense of joy in my efforts or accomplishments.  Being more laid back and not caring so much about the quality of my videos / photos / blog posts is just not an option for me – it’s not who I am as a person.  I like being detail-conscious, I like feeling proud of something I created.

I can still deal with being a perfectionist when it comes to my blog content and photos because I feel like I have control over the photos I post and what I write.  When you film a YouTube video, it’s very different.  You spend time preparing and setting up for the filming of the video, then you film the actual video but have no control over the weather outside (i.e. cloudy weather means dull grey-toned footage that cannot always be fixed with editing software), external noises like airplanes or barking dogs, and worst of all:  It’s almost like I enter a twilight zone as soon as that camera starts recording.  I’m so nervous, I struggle to explain or describe things the way I would if I were writing a blog post.  I’ll look back on footage whilst editing and think:  “You’re such an idiot.  You could have explained that WAY better.”  or “Stop saying ‘uhm’ and ‘awesome’ and start speaking like a bloody adult.”

It all has become a bit too much for me, and I’ve decided to step away from YouTube for a while or maybe even forever.  It’s very difficult for me to write this blog post, because I feel like I’ve given up.  I am a failure.  I know you’re thinking it’s just a video and it’s just YouTube but for me, it’s something that has become part of who I am as a blogger.  And being a blogger has become part of who I am as a person.  I take pride in the blog posts and videos I create, and in a way it’s my day-time job.

I received a very nasty hate comment on my latest video a few weeks ago, and although I didn’t really take what the person said to heart (they don’t know me personally), I feel like it’s so unnecessary.  Why hate on something someone else has poured their heart and soul into?    Me?  I have a soft heart, I could never EVER leave a negative comment on someone else’s work (whether it’s a blog post, a video or an Instagram photo).  When did the blogging and vlogging world become so competitive, so hateful, and so vindictive?

I need to take a step back – all this stress and negativity isn’t good for the soul.  Neal and I have tried (and failed) to fall pregnant for the past 2+ years.  The operation I had in December 2014 was necessary for my overall health but it was also supposed to increase my chances of falling pregnant.  The specialist said the best chance of me falling pregnant is within 6 months after the operation, we’re on month number 4 now…and still nothing.  I initially didn’t want to share this part of my life here on the blog, mainly because I felt ashamed.  Falling pregnant should be easy, I mean heck, women do it all the time.  I’ve come to the realisation that struggling to fall pregnant is nothing to be ashamed of, it doesn’t make you a bad person, and it sure as heck doesn’t make you a failure.  Sometimes some things just aren’t meant to be, sometimes you need to let go…but we’re not there yet.  I need to do what’s right for me – I need to remove the things that are causing me stress and I need to focus on the things that make me feel happy and relaxed.

I’ve been feeling uninspired and less passionate about vlogging for a while now, and I’m very scared that how I’m feeling right now is going to affect my blogging.  I’m struggling to be creative with my photos, and it feels like each photo I take sucks balls.  I was going to load my ‘April 2015 Favourites’ blog post today but I just can’t seem to take decent photos for the blog post.  So I decided to load this blog post, get everything off my chest and hopefully I’ll feel more inspired tomorrow or next week.

I’m just in a bad space at the moment, and I hope you understand…  I didn’t just want to stop doing YouTube videos and leave you wondering when the next video is coming or why I’m not loading videos anymore.  You’ll still see me in a couple of other YouTube videos in the next few weeks, I filmed with other YouTubers for their channels.  Fortunately they have to sit through editing all the nonsense that comes out of my mouth – haha!

I’m very sad about all this because I have so many ideas for videos that I wanted to film, but I’ve lost the inclination to actually sit down & film them.  Who knows…perhaps I’ll start filming videos again in a couple of months’ time.  Perhaps I’ll only do voice-overs for my hair- and makeup tutorials.  Perhaps I won’t do haul videos or talk-though videos anymore.  Perhaps I’ll be known as ‘The Mute YouTuber’.

I’m interested to hear what your favourite types of videos are, and whether you actually have time or data available to watch videos.  I know YouTube isn’t nearly as popular here in South Africa as it is in the UK / US and if you’d prefer an extra blog post here or there instead of a YouTube video, let me know.  At the end of the day, I started blogging to share my thoughts, experiences and passion for beauty products with beauty lovers everywhere.  And if you prefer reading a blog post, rather than watching a video, let me know.

I’ll leave you with an excerpt of the article I mentioned at the beginning of this blog post:  “Instead, focus on simplicity. On nuance. Slow down. Breathe. Smile. You don’t need to prove anything to anybody. Including yourself. Think about that for a minute and let it sink in:  You don’t have to prove anything to anybody, including yourself.

That’s it from me, I’m getting back into bed now.  I woke up this morning feeling like death warmed up – scratchy throat, swollen tonsils, congested sinuses and a headache that will knock a small child off their feet.  Anyone mind bringing me some warm chicken soup?





  1. 7 May 2015 / 15:43

    Luzanne you have to think of yourself and if its a break you need -Take it! I hope you find joy in the fact that your readers love you and your blog Ill miss your updates but your health is far more important at this point Take care and good luck! Much Love xxx

  2. Madeleine
    7 May 2015 / 15:43

    I’m so sorry you’re feeling stressed. Some people are just horrid…and if taking some time is what you need, go for it. You’ve done really well, and maybe some time of will relieve the pressure that’s makin it so hard to fall pregnant! Take care of yourself. Your community will be here if you decide to come back <3

  3. Elmien
    7 May 2015 / 15:47

    Luzanne – jy is een van die beste (stylvolste en most beautiful) bloggers in die wye wereld! Jou blog is in ‘n heeltemal ander klas as enige ander wat ek volg. Die YouTube video’s was ‘n bonus om te kyk, want jy is so ‘n pragtige vrou, maar ek geniet jou skryfstyl sooooo baie! Vat tyd af, maar belowe tog jy sal ons nie permanent verlaat nie!

    Pas jouself mooi op!
    Jou GROOTSTE fan

  4. Elize Swanepoel
    7 May 2015 / 15:47

    Hi there. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with us. I must say, I take my hat of to you. I’ve watched most of your video’s and while I was watching I was admiring you for having the confidence to put up a video in the first place. Sheesh, I can’t even talk in front of a few people. I don’t like seeing myself on photo’s, so there is absolutely no chance in hell that I would be able to pull off a video. I always found your video’s very informative and helpful. I understand your decision completely and at least you’re not leaving us for good. I enjoy blog posts a lot more than video’s simply because I love reading and looking at pics. I sometimes check out people’s photo’s that I don’t even know. Not because I’m creepy or anything but I feel that photographs are so captivating. I can’t believe that people can be so cruel. I am leaving you with a very inspiring quote that I’ve come across one day that always make me feel better when people bring me down. “When life makes you have to put up with mean & hateful people,think of them as sandpaper.They may scratch you, rub you the wrong way, but eventually … you end up smooth & polished and the sandpaper is just going to be worn out & ugly – Unknown”. I truly hope that you read this comment and know that there are people out there that follow your blog and found you to be very beautiful and talented. Don’t mind those ugly sandpaper people. Like you say, they don’t even know you. Hope you feel better soon. Sending lots of blessings and good vibes your way. xxx

  5. Simone Cameron
    7 May 2015 / 15:51

    *phew* That was a long read….and I love long reads, but obviously I’m really sad for the head space that you’re in that gave me this long read.

    If vlogging does not make you happy, then scrap it. Most of your readers started following you to read your blog, I’m sure they have no issue with no videos anymore. I know I sure as heck have no problem with it…and even if I/we do….who are we anyways? The blogging, you started it for you…..as a passion for something you loved doing, the readers are a bonus. So if your passion is your stunning photos (and no matter how crap you think it’s gotten…I assure you, you’re the only person that thinks that) and writing….typing up your words, then you do that!

    I did that video for Scholl…oh my soul….we literally did 100 takes and I saw huge boobs, pimples, i ‘uhmed’ about 7007 times. So I only got a taste of the way you must scrutinize yourself every time you do a video. I do however think your videos are a breath of fresh air and just make me feel like I know you a little bit more! I swear I’m going to bump into you at a bubble tea one day and walk up to you and hug you like I know you and you’ll be like: BACK AWAY FREAKAZOID! lol.

    The issues about pregnancy….as a woman I know it’s a tough and emotional road to be on. I won’t profess to know what you’re going through, but I battled a bit…a year each time, plus a miscarriage, plus almost dying after d&C wasn’t done correctly (maybe??)…..there’s so many emotions attached to all of it on that journey… and to think it may never happen, is a sad low place to be for you 🙁 All I can do is hope and say a prayer that in His time…..you will be blessed with a mini Luzanne or Neal 🙂 Hang in there…. xxxx

    I love the quote at the end! Get to bed, look after yourself….really just take time out for you to heal your body and your mind!


    • Simone Cameron
      7 May 2015 / 15:53

      Wish I saw the comment the troll left on your video…what a jerk ass loser! Just ignore…. think about it, one bad comment in like a million comments? So not worth your time….

  6. Pietrie Morton
    7 May 2015 / 15:53

    What a selfless article to write- I have watched and re-watched your videos and out of all the “Vloggers” you have such talent and a great curation of images! Being a perfectionist isn’t a bad thing but very stressful I know!
    Thank you for sharing with us, you don’t need to explain YOU come first think of all your blogposts & instagram as pretty bonuses in our days!! All the hours it must take isn’t in vain you have a following that is super strong and supportive, you are doing us a favour. Where are all the editing minions of the world haha!
    Lots of hugs and chicken soup xxx

  7. Deanne
    7 May 2015 / 15:53

    Hi Luzanne, I am just as hard on myself as you say you are on yourself. If you find a cure, please let me know! It’s EXHAUSTING like you say. Take a break or just stick to blogging if that’s less stressful. I love reading your blogs! xxx

  8. Jackie Katzen
    7 May 2015 / 15:56

    I have been reading your blog for so long, you have become a daily part of my life.

    I have loved the posts about make-up and all the lovely goodies you buy, and Ive even tried to copy some of the stunning eye make-up you do.

    I will definitely miss you.

  9. HelenD
    7 May 2015 / 15:59

    Lovely post, you are my favourite blogger…YouTube or no Youtube 🙂 Good luck!

  10. Lalannie
    7 May 2015 / 16:03


    1. I salute you for being so brave and frank about your life as only a strong woman can admit some of the things you have mentioned.
    2. I started following blogs since last year and have fallen in love with your blog. I check for updates daily and if there is nothing new I read older ones.
    3. I love everything about this blog especially ALL the effort you put into this blog that makes it pleasurable to read.
    4. I think you are beautiful and that you always look flawless in your photos and videos. I have had this thought though … do you wake up like this?? I see the effort you put in.
    5. I prefer videos that are real, some fumbling (cannot recall any though!) etc as you are human which makes your blog so relatable.
    6. You are relevant and like a fresh breathe of air in a jungle of bloggers.
    7. Any kind of blogging from you, I would love. And if there is no vids then also ok. If there is no blog then maybe not ok haha as how would I know what’s launched in store?? No pressure!!

    Should I go on???

    Crikey.. If you lived in Cape Town, I would drop off that warm chicken in a jiffy. But for now, I will send positive vibes your way.

    P.S. And babies… I believe they will happen when they should… besides your blog might change once bub is around… but he/she will be the cutest bub ever, I am sure!!!

    P.P.S. You are more than enough 😉

  11. abs
    7 May 2015 / 16:06

    I have to say that was a really hard to read as I could tell the sadness in the tone in the writing. So I can only imagine how you are feeling.i have to say that the negative comments you got on you tube are most like by a person/people who would be to scared/embarrassed to even do a vlog and I can’t believe people can be negative its really hart breaking. I hope you return to vloging be do it for the fun of it. I hope you get inspired again and get better !!!

    A fan -Abby:)

  12. lameez
    7 May 2015 / 16:14

    Hi njoy every moment of ur break , u will be missed and get well soon *hugs*

  13. anye
    7 May 2015 / 16:15

    My husband writes for a technology website (which is something more geared towards men) and I have on countless times told him about you and how cool and hip your blog is. How I love that you have taken the risk, yes risk, to start a youtube channel. Youtube for beauty bloggers is not at all huge in SA, but love that you started doing it and making us all in SA feel like “yeah we have pinkpeonies” to watch.

    If you feel unconformable or stressed don’t do it. Nobody needs more stress. Do what you love. I am going to miss it!!

  14. Joanne
    7 May 2015 / 16:27

    I started following blogs when I first started reading yours. You are very inspirational, I now buy beauty products again!!!! Shame sweetheart – everything will be ok. Remember this one day when you have two little ones running around you and you don’t even have time to give yourself a pedicure!!! Relax and it will happen. Carry on doing what you love. Please.

  15. 7 May 2015 / 16:33

    You are such an inspiration to all South African woman.
    I love your blog posts and videos equally. Everything you do is on another level. Thank you for making the blogging world better in SA. We have the best person to look up to – you!

    We all go through dark phases but hang in there because it will always get better! In the mean time here’s LOAAAAADS of love to get you through!


  16. Melissa
    7 May 2015 / 16:42

    Liewe Luzanne

    As ‘n Psigiater, wat passievol is oor mense, hulle pyn en hulle lewe, het ek net die grootste respek vir jou eerlikheid oor jou angs en selfbeeld. Mense soos jy maak die stigmatisering in my vakgebied soveel minder en laat my liewe pasiente voel asof hulle ook “ok” is met al hulle “insecurities”. My eerlike raad aan jou is, luister na jou hart en liggaam. Jy het verseker nie nodig om jou keuses te verantwoord nie. Jy moet die beste keuses maak….net vir jouself, want jy moet met daardie keuses saamleef. Enigiets wat mens aanpak en doen, moet met vreugde en “vrede” beloon word. As dit jou emosioneel so swaar laat kry…laat dit eerder gaan! Natuurlik sal mens jou “blogs” en videos baie mis…en as die tyd reg voel, hoop ek dat jy ten minste net weer sal “blog”. Jou “blogs” is visueel so stimulerend, kreatief and altyd propvol wonderlike inligting.
    Beterskap vir jou in hierdie tyd van rus en herstel!

  17. 7 May 2015 / 16:47

    This morning I wake up early since I wanted to make some images for my blogpost, so I can post it tommorow or tonight. I’m working from 9, so I was in hurry to take all of pictures. I work till 17 and than have my language school till 22h, so posting on my blog is such a challenge. At the end, I didn’t make it this morning. I had to go and I didn’t have time to take swatches. I felt horrible. I cried saying I’m such a faliture because I couldn’t make it all 🙁 My boyfriend told me I’m so blind. I’m working, doing language school, and working hard on my blog, and that’s much more than faliture. It’s just a little thing, stupid thing I should relax about, but I can’t. I want to do I all, and to do it best I can.

    I just wanted to tell you, you are not alone in that feelings, and I believe your readers will definitely understand it.

    I wish you all the best and hope you will get better soon 🙂

  18. Jeanelle
    7 May 2015 / 16:52

    Hi Luzanne!

    I think most women can identify with what you’re experiencing right now…Us women are all very critical about ourselves. But I can imagine the pressure to be perfect so much more in the media spotlight. It is definitely exhausting! A break and indulging in activities that relax and are good for you can only do wonders.

    I think babies happen once you stop trying and forcing the beautiful event of pregnancy to happen…That little one must be thinking I’m going to surprise you when you least expect it! 🙂

    Regarding the video vs blog posts – I prefer blog posts with pictures…I read your blog mostly at the office and it’s difficult to watch videos and not be caught doing something other than work! 🙂 (even pics of the products are good enough!). Demonstrations of make up contouring can also be illustrated with photos.

    I say enjoy the break, find your inner sparkle again…and I do hope you return because I love reading your blog! 🙂
    This is part of your journey of growth.


  19. Ingrid
    7 May 2015 / 16:54

    Take a break! Get yourself back! and I would still love your blog posts! Take care xxx

  20. 7 May 2015 / 16:55

    My Friend x You are who you are and when you feel a certain way,people can say what they want, it still won’t make you feel any different or change the situation…

    Just remember one thing… We look at ourselves as we see all the unever, crooked, and ugly wrong things with our bodies… Another person (Me 😀 ) look at you and I see such big beautiful Eyes, a lovely nose, and perfect bone structure…

    Like I told you yesterday, one day you are going to wake up and feel super inspired to film yet another tutorial and it will be a freaken awesome one… In the mean time, Ill snatch you for all my challenges 🙂 XXX

    LOTS OF LOVE AND HUGS> get well soon x MWAH!

  21. 7 May 2015 / 16:57

    oh lady I wish I could give you a hug and tell you number one to get a yummy sandwich with that coffee and number 2 not to worry so much YouTube is not for everyone and I’m sure if you closed you’re account you’re fans would follow you right back to your blog where you began because the people that support you over there will support you wherever you go! Chin up keep smiling, your blog pictures are ALWAYS on point x

  22. Kaye-Leigh
    7 May 2015 / 17:01

    Luzanne, you are an inspiration to us all!
    Your blog was the first one I stumbled upon and it has grown from strength to strength.
    All your fans admire you and love what you do, take all the time you need.
    Relax, revitalise and rejuvenate yourself!
    No one deserves it more.

  23. 7 May 2015 / 17:12

    Dis soooo hartseer in te lees! Hier sit ek, en is jaloers op dit wat jy al bereik het?! Wees trots op waar jy algekom het. Ek dink jys van die min wat erken jy het daai Insecureties. Hoop jy voel gou beter xxx

  24. christi
    7 May 2015 / 17:16

    Good for you for speaking your mind. You’re a lovely talented beautiful person. Take it easy and remember: don’t sweat the small stuff.
    Some people will always be haters. Avoid bad people…they suck. Good luck ♡

  25. Cathy Badenhorst
    7 May 2015 / 17:25

    Thank you for being so open and honest about your feelings and what you are going through. We all need to take time out to prioritise the important things and people in our lives and to simply just BREATH.

    Me personally I loved your videos but I much prefer reading your blogs. Taking a break from doing your videos will certainly not have a negative impact on your blog nor your fan base.

    Hoping that you feel better soon and know that your die-hard fans fully support you in your life’s decisions.


  26. Nadine
    7 May 2015 / 17:37

    Don’t read much blog posts, but yours is so captivating and I had such a lump in my throat when I read this blog post of yours now, because now I know I’m not the only one that went through anxiety and depression in my childhood years. I’m so sorry to hear about everything 🙁 and its not pity I think you deserve a must needed break and as your fans we all love you.

  27. 7 May 2015 / 18:25

    You felt the need to tell us how you feel and you don’t have to feel ashamed for it!
    We will still follow you on instagram etc.. 🙂 I know I’ll do <3
    Try to stay strong always and Im sending you positive vibes from Italy :*
    ciao bella!

  28. Nicole Bekkers
    7 May 2015 / 18:44

    Hi Lu

    As I told you in my email earlier this week, your blog is so good, beautiful and extremely fun to read. You are so talented and good at what you do and even though I dont know you personally, I am so proud of you! To acomplish such success as a woman and as a South African is amazing! I also sent that email because I believe women should support and uplift one another and DANG when someone does well, they should be told. There will always be haters in this world and no matter where you go or what you do, people will try to bring you down. Remember, it is their own weakness, insecurity or jealousy… it has nothing to do with you. A genuine soul is a strong soul and I believe you will continue to go forth, be brilliant and touch peoples lives as you have been doing every week with this blog.

    I do watch a lot of vlogs and it is time consuming. Sometimes I need to ban myself. Ha ha. The one thing I realised though is that many of those youtubers dont have regular blog posts or even a blog! The ones that do write poorly and give crappy or skimpy info. Your blog was a breath of fresh air! So well written and elegant. Your warm personality always shines through and your photographs are beautiful!! It is evident you take pride in what you do and you care about your readers. I also think the world of vlogging and youtube is very pretentious and a dog-eat-dog environment. Its all about selling yourself, the number of views or subscribers, who you can suck up to in order to get a shout out and the collaborations. I think its a tough environment for sincere and humble people.

    lastly, you need not beat yourself up about not falling pregnant. You are not alone and you are not a failure. I see many women in my line of work who are going through the exact same thing. It is more common than you think… I dont know the details around your circumstances, but I do know the situation is not your fault. Stay positive, keep your head up and everything will happen as it should.

    we are all rooting for you!

  29. Geraldine
    7 May 2015 / 18:48

    I had to shed a tear for you, Luzanne. It must have taken so much for you to write this blog post. Good on your for having the strength to write it, you really are such an inspiration to so many women out there. The words from Cinderella come to mind: Have courage and be kind. You are such a kind hearted soul and you deserve all the happiness in the world. Whether that’s a little bubba in your arms or living a life that is stress-free. You deserve it all!

  30. farzana
    7 May 2015 / 18:50

    We don’t need to see vlogs from you but PLEASE dont ever stop blogging. I dont follow many other SA bloggers simply because most of them are so pretentious, snobby or just boring. Keep your head up, girl! It will all work out in the end. 🙂

  31. Dee
    7 May 2015 / 19:26

    Your blog posts inspire me every day, Luzanne. Take all the time you need to get back in the blogging saddle and if you decide one day that you want to film a video again, do it. If you never feel like filming a video ever again, then that’s okay too. As long as you keep blogging, I’ll be a happy chappie!!

    I hope you feel better soon, sending you BIG HUGS! XO

  32. Wendy H
    7 May 2015 / 19:35

    I appreciate this blog post so very much, Luzanne, and my heart goes out to you. I can only try to imagine how hard things must be for you right now, but know that everything will work out how it’s supposed to in the end. I can relate to what you have written in the blog post on so many levels, even though I’m not a blogger or vlogger. Know that we’re all rooting for you and will be here waiting for you to return. Take time to recharge, make sure you’re feeling 100% healthy, and then return with a new found sparkle. I love your videos but won’t think anything bad if you decide to never film another video again. Your blog posts are what keep me coming back for more. You truly have a knack for blogging and photography and don’t you ever forget that.

    Well done for writing such a humbling blog post, so much respect for you Luzanne. Lots of love, Wendy

  33. Ursula
    7 May 2015 / 19:57

    Take all the time you need, we’ll be here when you get back. I personally love your videos (you’re the only SA youtuber I am subbed to) but I totes understand if you’re not enjoying it as much anymore. Do what is best for you. 🙂

    Bless you, Luzanne. ♥

  34. Sanet Barkhuizen
    7 May 2015 / 20:37

    Hi Luzanne,

    Sjoe hier sit ek met trane in my oë. Ek kan met soveel wat jy sê identifiseer, jou eerlikheid maak jou net soveel meer eg.
    Jy bemoedig baie mense. Dis verseker ‘n moeilike tyd waardeur jy gaan, plaas jouself nou eerste en moenie skuldig voel nie. Neem tyd uit en besin, dis jou reg.
    Dankie vir jou mooi blad, dis vir my so ontspannend om elke dag te kyk watse mooi goed jy geplaas het. Jy inspireer my om moeite te doen met grimering en skoonheid.
    Wat babas betref wil ek graag die raad met jou deel wat iemand my gegee het toe ons gesukkel het- elke baba het sy tyd wat hy gebore moet word. So hou moed, dit sal gebeur.
    Sterkte xxx

  35. 7 May 2015 / 21:38

    Luzanne, ek kan identifiseer met jou angstigheid en perfeksionisme – dis vir my net so moeilik om elke dag daardeur te gaan. Ek het self ook ‘n blog en verstaan hoe dit voel as niks reg lyk nie en jy voel jy kon beter gedoen het. Ons is te hard op onsself 🙁 Dit klink vir my asof ‘n breek jou goed sal doen. Jou videos was nog altyd vir my beeldskoon. So dit wys jou net – mens weet nie altyd wat ander dink nie. Ek is skuldig daaraan om te “assume” wat ander dink en dan was ek al die tyd verkeerd 🙂 Ek is seker jy sal gou weer beter voel. Ek dink aan jou!

  36. Qondiswa N
    7 May 2015 / 22:05

    I’m sorry you are going through such a difficult time, Luzanne. My heart goes out to you and Neal. There are so many people out there who don’t deserve to have children and yet they procreate like rabbits and here are 2 good people who struggle. All things happen for a reason but I will pray that you will fall pregnant soon.

    I loved reading this blog post, thank you for being so open with us and sharing a part of your life.

    God bless.

  37. Talya
    7 May 2015 / 22:09

    Your strength is a force to be reckoned with, and I look up to you so very much. I love reading your blog posts and will much rather have you healthy and happy and writing blog posts, than all stressed filming videos. Do what makes you happy, at the end of the day that’s the most important thing.

    I will keep you in my thoughts and am sending you healthy vibes all the way from the UK. Know that we all support and love you, you are an inspiration to us all.

  38. Jess
    7 May 2015 / 22:19

    If I lived anywhere close to you, I’d bring you chicken soup and give you a great big hug. You are such a beautiful person inside and out, and the passion you have for blogging is so evident in everything you do. You are my favourite south african blogger and I hope and pray you will never ever stop blogging. I love your videos too, but I’d much rather you be happy. So if you need to take a break, then take a break. We’ll be here waiting patiently. 😀

  39. Tracy
    7 May 2015 / 23:10

    Ah sweetheart, u r gorgeous and talented. I loved your videos and thought they were excellent. Your blog is amazing so just take a well deserved break and rest. May u be blessed with little Luzannes in the future, I am sure u will be an amazing mamma. Lots of love to u xxx

  40. 8 May 2015 / 07:08

    Hey, It is always going to be harder to youtube in South Africa because its not popular. I few things: I think we as South Africans get so use to watching and listening to American accents and English accents that by the time you film a video the South African accent sounds rather odd. Does be let down by that thou! You have to start somewhere…. Maybe you should let someone you trust edit your videos it might not be the same but it is another solution! Everyone has there ups and down we have to go thou it otherwise we wouldn’t be humans… DONT GIVE UP! You are one of the most successful South African youtubes and blogger that I know. I know I don’t always watch youtube because it eats my data but there is still an audience in the world waiting to discover your youtube channel and blog! Have a break and try some new things and get you mind off these things that bother you and come back fresh and inspired even if it takes a month or 1 week! You may not see your self as perfect but other people do! Just remember that! Good luck with trying for a baby, I don’t have much to say about that because I am only 19….Just remember things happen for a reason! If its not your time then there is a reason for it! Dont give up thou. ALL THE BEST! Lots of Love!

  41. Rubina
    8 May 2015 / 07:31

    Hi Luzanne

    First off I must tell you, yours is the only blog I have ever left comments on, because the quality of your work is so fantastic, I couldn’t not say so. I’m sure many here will agree with me that your blog ranks up there with the best (and probably overtakes) many international beauty blogs, and the amount of love and effort you put into your work shines through.
    if YouTube vids are causing you stress and upsetting you, don’t do it. You don’t need that kind of negativity and you’ll still have your fans-after all we got to know you and love you here first, right?
    And as for babies? That is all in God’s Hands. So don’t stress because when He wants to give, nothing and no-one can stop it from coming to you…all in good time!❤️

  42. 8 May 2015 / 07:43

    Skip the videos we all love reading your blogs!!! im so sorry to heard that you are feeling so down and i hope that taking a break from the videos will help you! we all need a break at times and if you dont ever pick up on the videos again im sure no one would even mind! we all love you here that is why we come back!!

    Feel better!

    PS: Neal go get chicken soup!! the nice woolies one!

  43. Missy
    8 May 2015 / 08:38

    Hi Luzanne,

    I have been reading your blog for awhile but only started commenting recently.

    I read a lot of blogs and watch a lot of YouTube videos and honestly yours has always been the best. Your blogs and videos are so informative and I promise you, you did well.

    You are a stunner. You might not believe it but you have to know what we all think of you. Yes we all hard on ourselves sometimes but you have to believe that you are way better than what you think.

    I can see that you have the personality to overcome anything that brings you down but right now there is a lot going on in your life. Always remember that God doesn’t put us through anything we can’t handle. You are strong, young, vibrant and inspirational.

    I sooo know how you feel about struggling to fall pregnant, been there. I struggled for 3 years and then it happened. Pray, pray and pray.

    So dear, if YouTube videos are too much for you now don’t post and don’t feel bad about not posting it. Please keep blogging we love you 😉

    It’s just a rough time now but it won’t be like this forever, remain positive and keep believing.

    Thanks for sharing with us… now we all feel even closer to you 🙂

  44. Jess
    8 May 2015 / 08:47

    I’m not a ‘comment on a blog’ kind of person, but this one needed one.

    I love your blogs and your videos – I’ve watched your ‘how to curl your hair with a hair straightener’ SO MANY times. I can still only do the left side of my head, but its the first video that actually made sense on how you do it!

    I hope one day you feel strong enough to come back to blogging and vlogging, that you grow that thicker skin so that those horrible people out there dont get to you. i also hope that you get that baby you and your hubby so desperately want – even if its through adoption, i know some happy mums who found their babies that way.

    basically i just wanted to say I will miss your blogs and vlogs – that you are lovely and beautiful – that i know how hard depression can be – that youre amazing for even writing this post.

    stay strong

  45. 8 May 2015 / 08:55

    Hi Luzanne,

    Ek weet presies hoe voel jy. Ek suffer ook aan angstigheid en ligte depressie. Dit is moeilik, mens het heeltyd daai ”self doubt” in jou. Jou blog is pragtig. Alles van die beste en hoop jy kry goeie nuus een van die dae.

  46. Carmen
    8 May 2015 / 09:42

    BRAVE BRAVE woman *sniff*
    I must admit when I saw the title of this blog post I decided not to read it. I thought it was all over and I just didnt want to accept it. Then I thought maybe you have a very good reason and I should just read.
    My heart sunk to my toes when I started and it was almost like reading a bit about myself when I was younger.
    My cup runneth over with respect for you. You are truely amazing and not making youtube videos is not going to change that. Your blog is what I fell in love with. Your beautiful photos, your humor, and you professionalism, your incredible advice and most of all your honesty. I could tell you love and have a passion for this. So screw youtube videos if its causing you too much grief. You are way to lovely and awesome for all of that.

    I know you dont need or want our pitty and this is not it this is to say thank you for turning this plan jane/ugly duckling into a beautiful swan. Thank you for helping boost my little to none existing self-esteem up to a point where I can keep my head up.

    I wish you all the best and good things happen to good people(thats you of course).
    Sending you good vibes and lots of hugs.
    aaaachuuuu this cold and flu is crazy I hope you feel better soon.

    PS. Dont worry about that ass wipe’s comment, she is probably bitter about her own crap and wants to drag your gorgeous self into it.

  47. 8 May 2015 / 11:08

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I’ve had the same musings. It’s good to know we’re not alone.
    Follow your passion, do what makes you happy. The world needs you to shine your light. So shine on girl!

  48. Charlene
    8 May 2015 / 11:35

    Hi Luzanne
    Baie dankie dat jy jou persoonlike lewe met ons almal gedeel het. Jy is soos my beste vriendin…. kan nie wag om epos van jou te kry nie! Ek is mal oor jou blogs, lees dit elke dag as dit kom. Werk moet gewoonlik dan wag…. hie hie
    As jy die videos vir eers los, dan staan ek agter jou. Jy moet doen wat jou laat goed voel en wat die beste vir jou as persoon is. Ons aanvaar jou soos jy is!
    Dit is goed jy vat ñ breukie, jou familie kom altyd eerste.
    Sterkte en dink aan jou xx

  49. Sugendri
    8 May 2015 / 11:45

    Thanks so much for sharing this with us. You are very Brave. Sometimes you just have to let it all out, and you feel sooooo much better after that.
    You have my support. I actually was new at following beauty blogs. I subscribed to your blog and yours ended up being one of my favourite! I knew when your blog entered my gmail I HAD to read it.
    Remember, Life throws you lemons sometimes and its crap but everything will get better eventually.Grab those damn
    lemons and throw it right back!!!!
    Life is beautiful and so are you. Also relax about the pregnancy thing, it will happen. I think the time off will do your body well too.
    Chin Up, Breathe………….and BIG HUG!!!!!!!!!

    Everything is going to be OK.


  50. 8 May 2015 / 12:55

    I think everyone’s comments above sum up exactly what I wanted to say – I don’t think people realise how much effort goes into blogging and even more so with vlogging. Putting content out there opens bloggers up to all sorts of comments and it’s always scary. Take the time to rest up and take care of yoursel – us, your loyal readers, will be here <3
    Sending you the biggest hugs XXX

  51. Nadia
    8 May 2015 / 12:58


    Your post came at the right time for me struggling with my own issues. At 25 I have a mother who has been struggling with dementia for the last 5 years and it has gotten to the stage where everyday I need to lock myself up in the bathroom just to cry a little. I admire you for your honesty and letting us get to know the you behind the blogger. Your blog is the only one I bother to read as I am tired of girls posting OOTD’s making other girls wish they had the money to buy high end clothing and making themselves question their self-image. Society today relies too much on what others think making you question your self. Your posts are real and honest about products whether they were gifted to you or you have bought them which is why I love your blog.

    I too am trying to fall pregnant and have realised that its a lot harder than it seems. I’ve realised that cutting out whatever makes you unhappy and just enjoy trying to create life. When it happens it will happen and you will love Neal and your lil one even more because you have wanted it for so long.

    Even though we dont know you personally you manage to speak to all of us on an individual level, we are all behind you 100%

  52. Aneeka
    8 May 2015 / 13:07

    Hi Luzanne

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us. Taking time off is a brilliant idea! Do take care and put your own needs first.

    I love reading your blog posts as it forms part of my decision making progress when going on shopping sprees 🙂 I often catch myself thinking “What would PinkPeonies recommend?” or “Was this product featured on PinkPeonies?” or I’ll wait for a future blog post instead in the hope it appears. I do find your writing style very inspiring, informative and exciting.

    Your vlogs, as some have mentioned above, is definitely an added bonus. I love how professionally you conduct yourself as well as the excellent quality you produce. Your amazing personality and friendly disposition is very evident not only in your vlogs but in your writing too.

    In the past I used to seek bloggers who had a similar skin type and style I aspired to but you’ve changed my perception and have opened me up to experiencing more…which is really exciting too.

    So THANK YOU for being YOU!!

    Lots of love,

  53. Nicola
    8 May 2015 / 13:14

    Hey Luzanne

    I’ve been following your blog for a while now and love the amount of passion and work you put into everything you do. It certainly shows in your posts and videos.

    I completely understand the need to take a break and what it’s like battling your own mind. Just wanted to say you’re an inspiration to many and I wish you all the best.


  54. Megs Hartwig
    8 May 2015 / 15:06

    If you ever you feel you need a break from anything in life I feel you should take one. Our society is so do do do, yet sometimes we just need to take a step back and refresh in order to be our best selves. This especially applies to something that is a hobby like blogging. There should never be any pressure to bang out posts – it needs to be fun and when you have something you want to share or say. At the end of the day everyone needs to do what is right for them. If you need a break go ahead – everyone will be here when you get back 🙂
    Lots of love 🙂 xx

  55. Lily
    8 May 2015 / 15:06

    Oh Luzanne, I wish I could be there to give you a hug! I know what you’re going thru. I myself have been having such a rough time with blogging/vlogging and with trying to conceive. My husband and I have been trying for over 4 years now…we’ve even done IVF, and it resulted in a miscarriage.
    Don’t be so hard on yourself, things will all work out…when you least expect them too.

    Big hugs my friend, I’m always here if you need someone to talk to! We have start a Google chat!

    xo, Lily

  56. Lulu
    8 May 2015 / 15:27

    Think it is a very good and wise decision to take a break and put less stress on yourself and focus on other beautiful things. Being a perfectioness is hard and one feels never really happy and satisfied with what you do, even if you get a lot of positive remarks and family and friends tell you how amazing and proud they are of you. Must have taken a lot of courage to write this post and I am proud of you for doing so. I know how much you love blogging and how much time and effort your put into. Jealousy makes people nasty, try and forget the remark on YouTube. Take time to breath and relax and the rest will follow!

  57. 8 May 2015 / 17:44

    Have a break and come back when you are ready. Hope you feel better soon. I will miss you!

  58. Leigh-Anne Cronje
    8 May 2015 / 19:47

    Luzanne, you are beautiful on the iniside and on the outside. Do you see how much you are loved by your followers? Forget those who judge as you say, they don’t know you. I know how hard it was for you to share this and I admire your bravery and honesty. Take the time to rest and recharge. I’m certainly not going anywhere and will be right here waiting for you. I love your blog, I’ve tried so many prouducts you’ve shared with us thanks to you.
    Wish you all the best. Sending loads of love and hugs and positive energy your way.

  59. Nadine
    8 May 2015 / 21:06

    Hi Luzanne.

    Thank you for your honesty. I also struggle with anxiety and sometimes you just need to step back to see things clearly. We often fixate on what we could improve on instead of what you have already achieved. Your blog and writing is of exceptional quality and I believe that your true talent lies in your writing. So focus on that!

    I will miss you!

  60. 9 May 2015 / 09:39

    Ek het gister van Jnb af gekom vir ‘n launch en toe ek in die bed klim gisteraand gaan ek deur my insta feed en sien jou “Taking a break” post. Ek was te moeg om op te staan en op die laptop te gaan lees maar het vanoggend eerste ding kom sit met ‘n koppie koffie. My koffie het koud geword soos ek sit en lees met trane van identifikasie in my oe.

    My hart breek vir jou want ek weet SO hoe jy voel. Jy het net meer guts as ek. VERY well done om wat jy voel op so ‘n mooi manier te se. Ek voel baie soos jy, maar nes ek dink ek kan serious sit en dink daaraan raak ek weer besig. Ek doen nou wel nie vlogging nie, daardie confidence het ek nog nooit gehad nie, al het mense my al gevra om dit as makeup artist vir die site te doen. Blogging soos jy weet vat ook baie uit ‘n mens uit. Dis my lewe en passie. Elke dag. Elke oomblik. Jou site vat later jou lewe oor en mens raak so hard op jouself omdat ek soos jy, absoluut presies op detail is.

    Ek het ‘n tyd terug met dieselfde struggle oor swanger raak gesit, dit het uitgeloop daarop dat ek laasjaar uitgevind het ek kan maar opgee. Die dokter se dit gaan nie vir my gebeur nie, my gesondheid en gesondheidsgeskiedenis laat dit nie goed lyk nie. Ek wil net vir jou se hou moed. So seer soos wat dit is, so graag soos wat jy dit wil he, die lig sal aangaan. In die bybel staan “woon en werk rustig voort en die Here sal jou gee wat jou hart begeer”. Dis my mantra en ek lewe daarvolgens. ‘n Vriendin het laasjaar eendag vir my gevra of as ek NOU op die oomblik ‘n baba kan he of ek dit sal doen? Dit het my vreeslik aan die dink gesit en ek het tot die besef gekom, sonder dat mens besef bou jy jou lewe as couple om vooruit te gaan sonder plek vir ‘n baba. Ek weet vandag nie meer of ek ‘n baba sou kon hanteer in my hectic lewe nie so dalk het dinge met ‘n rede gebeur soos dit gebeur het. Ek is 40 hierdie jaar – sou ek dit kon doen? So presies soos ek is, sou ek dit volgens my eie standaarde kon regkry? My punt is, kom tyd kom raad. Jy sal fine wees. Jy is beautiful, sag en talenvol. Jy sal FINE wees. Wat moet gebeur sal gebeur en soos jy se, fokus op jouself vir jou. Jy kan nie suksesvol en happy wees as jy nie heel is nie. Ek verstaan soveel beter as wat ek kan se. Ons is so in die media en beskerm ons persoonlike lewens met al ons mag en ek salute jou dat jy die stap geneem het en gewys het jy (ons) is ook net mens. Ons lyk mooi, skryf mooi, glimlag altyd, maar binne is ‘n mens met ook hartseer, pyn en probleme.

    Ek bid vir jou kalmte, gesondheid, geluk en vrede oor die besluit wat jy maak. Moenie twyfel nie in jouself nie. No one can be youer than you. Daar sal ‘n tyd kom wat inspirasie soos ‘n storm strike en jy sal bigger and better than ever wees.
    Good luck pink peonie, chin up, boobs out and remember on a bad day there is always lipstick

  61. Erica
    10 May 2015 / 00:36

    I’m so sorry that things are so stressful at the moment. Take a break and relax. You will be missed. I enjoy your blog and your up coming products post was my favorite. I generally prefer reading blog post to you tube videos across all the blogs I follow. Concentrate on your health.

  62. 11 May 2015 / 09:05


    I’ve struggled with anxiety and depression all throughout high school and all the way through to right now. I only got diagnosed with it and treated for it about 6 years out of high school, so I battled for a long time without the treatment, medication and support that I needed. Even now, on the third medication I’ve tried, and after seeing several different therapists, and while I’m finally feeling kind of ok, I have my bad days.

    I can totally sympathise with you, and you don’t need to explain any decisions you make that are for your own personal well-being, so it was so incredibly brave of you to reach out and tell everyone this. I can understand how it made you feel with that comment on your video – I had some comments made to me last year, at separate times and by separate people who meant absolutely nothing to me in the greater scheme of things, but which sent me on a bit of a downer, as they were comments that attacked the very things I always thought about myself that were such big imperfections. If I’d seen that comment on your video, I would have gone into full verbal attack mode at the troll – even though we’ve never met, I’ve read your blog solidly for the past couple of years, and I feel like I know you through it, and NO ONE is rude to people I know and like.

    You are so much stronger than you think you are, and that’s shown in your bravery putting up your videos in the first place, and in this blog post, explaining your decision to take a break from them. You are so incredibly talented, and I am often checking up on your page just to see if a new blog post has been loaded without me knowing. We all love your blog, with or without the videos, so just carry on with what you’re doing – it’s a winner either way!

  63. Sibahle
    11 May 2015 / 13:22

    I’ll be praying for you.

  64. Nicole
    25 May 2015 / 10:49

    I MUCH prefer reading blog posts to watching videos anyway, so please feel free to write more and film less!

    This is your life; ditch anything that doesn’t make you feel good. <3

  65. Kelebogile
    17 June 2015 / 10:51


    Listen, You are beautiful , amazing and talented woman. Yes, there will be people that will criticize you and yes, there will be those that encourage you and that’s is how life is. God is in control of your life weather we approve of what you do or say because as people we never get satisfied. I say go and do what makes you-you and comfortable in your own skin. We might give you suggestion on what we prefer but at the end of the day its all about doing what you love and makes you jump higher. I chose to follow you and read your blog and not the other way around and guess what? if that makes me feel uncomfortable in my stomach to pass the air from the beans I ate then that is my problem to sleep with!
    Make God the centre of you life and your everything!
    Be Patient with yourself and never give up hope!
    I love you and you are the BEST!
    Keep shining!
    My prayers are with you!

  66. Roz
    23 July 2015 / 14:08

    I just came across your blog and finally feel like there’s a SA beauty junkie out there I can relate to. I’m 40 this year, have tried unsuccessfully for over 2 years to fall pregnant and have finally started to get my head around the fact that if my husband and I don’t have a baby – its ok! Be grateful what you do have – a loving husband and gorgeous furry babies that will love you no matter how wrinkly your eyelids are or if you say umm too many times 🙂 If you don’t want to do You Tube – don’t! Just carry on living your life and feeling the love around you… oh, and carry on with your awesome blog!

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