I’m At A Stage Where…

reflections-goals-2016

It’s that time of the year…you know what I’m talking about, right?  We all get to a stage towards the end of the year when we take a step back and remember all the happenings of the year that was – the achievements, the disappointments, the experiences, and the lessons we learned because of those experiences (good or bad).  I usually only start to reflect on the past year towards the end of December, but for some reason I’ve been thinking about 2016 a lot these past few weeks.

It’s been a tough year – and based on the conversations I’ve had with other individuals, I know it’s been a tough year for most people.  I still have the list I created in January of this year to highlight all the things I wanted to achieve during 2016 – some I managed to tick off, but there are a handful of goals that I still need to work on.  To be honest, I never expected to achieve every single item on my list…I’m a realist like that.

One of the highlights of 2016 was working on a 6-month campaign with Revlon, as one of their #LoveSquadSA members.  My journey with Revlon has come to an end (the campaign was only set to run until the end of November 2016) and so they’ve asked me to write one last blog post about my ‘Love Stage Story’.  I think most people would have expected to see a blog post about my marriage, or about my relationship with Neal – and I considered it for about 2 seconds, but then decided that I wanted to go a different route.  It’s not that I don’t have much to say about my marriage or my husband, I love him very much!  BUT…a blog post like that wouldn’t be relevant to all my readers, and it has always been really important to me that my content be applicable to everyone.

One of the items on my ‘2016 Goals’ list was to not be so hard on myself (it was actually at the very top of the list).  I think, at times, we’re all our own worst enemy.  Whether I like to admit it or not, there’s a really nasty part of me that likes to rear its ugly head at least once a day.  It’s very easy for me to focus on all the things that I don’t like about myself – whether it’s physical, emotional, or mental.  In a way I feel like I failed myself during 2016, because I started comparing myself to a lot of other people around me.  Not all the time, but sometimes I’d catch myself thinking:

“Why can’t I be a 25-year old blogger?”

“Why can’t I be as good as XXX at doing my makeup?”

“Why am I still not pregnant?” (read this blog post if you’re interested in reading more about this subject).

I am a work in progress (we all are), but I’ve decided that I really need to start working on my self confidence.  I’m getting older (I’ll be 34 in February) and if I’m not careful, I can see myself getting to a stage where I am so obsessed with trying to be something I’m not, that it might be impossible to find any joy at all in the little things in life.  I’m so critical of myself – I want every photograph to be perfect, every blog post to be interesting and helpful, every video to be impeccable, and every selfie to be flawless.  And I know worrying about everything being perfect all the time, is keeping me from reaching my full potential.  Blogging is my job, it defines me – and so if something doesn’t go the way I want it to, I always blame myself (even though most of the time, it wasn’t even in my control to start with).  Unfortunately we live in a world where the number of ‘likes’ you get on a photo defines how interesting / successful you are, and the number of people who interact with you on Instagram or Twitter reflects how popular you are – ESPECIALLY if you’re a blogger.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s very easy for me to see the beauty in other people – it’s always their little quirks or unique features that stand out to me as something that is endearing.  But for some reason, when I look at my own little quirks / personality traits / physical features, I kind of…well…cringe.  And it bothers me, because at the age of 33 I really should have my crap together…right?  I’m an adult, I’ve been adulting for over 10 years…at this stage I should be able to grab myself by the shoulders and tell myself to snap out of it.  But I can’t.  I don’t want to go into too much detail about this subject in this blog post, but if you’re interested in reading 2 very personal blog posts – take a look at this one and this one.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that my ‘Love Stage Story’ is a journey – I still need to learn how to love myself unconditionally.    I’ll be putting ‘Self-Love’ at the top of my 2017 Goals list again, and I’ll working very hard in 2017 to be kinder to myself.  I need someone to hold me accountable during 2017 (maybe one of you can do that for me?) because I really want next year to be the best year of my life – I want to be positive and happy, and I really do believe that it starts at home, with loving yourself first.

I recently discovered Jen Pastiloff’s website and her ‘Girl Power: You Are Enough Manifesto’.  I quite like it!

girl-power-manifesto

Can you relate to what I’ve written in this blog post?  Please share your thoughts with me in the comments section below.

Disclaimer: This blog post is in sponsored collaboration with Revlon South Africa.

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38 Comments

  1. melissa martin 29 November 2016 / 13:22

    Wow Luzanne it takes alot to open up and you know what this was a step in a positive direction. I am looking up to you in so many things when i started to blog im not far in but i tell myself from time to time you wont be that but you can be something and one tends to be discourage if you see no progress but i will keep going. Ive had a big set back in my life this year i lost my home and im at rock bottom but i told myself i need to be ok for my kids . It truly is hard to be a positive junkie as life , people and other things tends to surface and knock you down. But i must say you have been a great positive inspiration to my life in beauty and just general.

    I hope that you really achieve all goals set out dont limit yourself to a time just do you for as long as you need to. Key yes you need to love yourself before you can give love to others :-)

    All the best for the next few months of 2017 and Best of Best to 2017

    Lots of love :-)

    • Luzanne 7 December 2016 / 11:31

      Thank you so much for taking the time to read my blog post, Melissa – it means more to me than you know. :) I’m so sorry to hear about all the hardships you’ve been through this year – let’s hope 2017 will be our best year ever!

      Your blog is looking fab – well done!! 😀 xo

  2. Kandy Kane Makeup 29 November 2016 / 13:23

    HUGS> Love you my friend… I always tell you to not be so hard on yourself xxx HUGS…. You are amazing at what you do and everyone around you knows that!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Luzanne 7 December 2016 / 11:31

      Sending you a great big hug too!! xoxoxo

  3. Simone Cameron 29 November 2016 / 13:27

    Ahhh Luzanne I know you’re super hard on yourself and when I see your work, I honestly think you’re amazing. You make your readers feel like they matter, like they’re your friends…that’s a pretty special trait you have.

    I really hope you give yourself a break and know your worth. But it’s easy to see these things in other people…. I lost so much Weight 2yrs back and have now regained it all and some. I feel like I don’t deserve to be human. I’m embarrassed to be seen in public. I’m actually worried I may be battling depression. It’s taking a toll on my life…my family…my marriage. I read the manifesto and it obviously says you are not defined by your weight…. then why does it feel that way!

    I pray 2017 brings us all some self love and joy! We all need to be kinder to ourselves.

    Super proud of your Revlon campaign!! And the body shop ambassador gig!

    PS YOU want a kid? Adam may be for sale! Lol…This child…is making me grey!!

    I had lots more to say…but I may never stop typing. He he.

    • Luzanne 7 December 2016 / 11:35

      Thank you so much for your kind compliments, Simone – gosh, you’ve been reading my blog for so long…it honestly feels like we’re close friends! :) I’m not a professional, but if you feel like you’re struggling with depression then I highly recommend going to talk to someone about it. Take it from someone who has been clinically depressed for the best part of my life – you don’t want to mess with it, because once you’re in that deep, dark black hole…it’s extremely difficult to get out of it again. You gotta nip it in the bud!

      LOL! Do I get a money back guarantee if I decide to take Adam off your hands…? 😉

  4. Qondiswa N 29 November 2016 / 14:17

    What an amazing blog post, Luzanne. :) You have always been my favourite blogger (local and international), mainly because you treat your readers as though they are your closest friends. I am exactly the same as you – I always focus on the qualities I don’t like about myself, I think as women a lot of us do that. We should be kind to ourselves and one another – it doesn’t matter who you are.

    I really hope 2017 will be your best year to date – I also have a few personal goals that I haven’t achieved this year, but that I will work very hard to achieve next year.

    I’ll leave you with this quote: “You’re always with yourself, so you might as well enjoy the company.” :)

    • Luzanne 7 December 2016 / 11:37

      Thank you so much, Qondiswa – your words of encouragement have definitely brightened up my day / week! :)

      Love that quote!! Thanks so much for posting it! 😀

  5. Camilla | Jane Wonder Blog 29 November 2016 / 14:25

    Hello my Lu! You know how I feel on all points so won’t lay it all out on here. I can tell you first that I have saved that manifesto image and intend on printing it and placing somewhere for me to see – every day! The second thing I can tell you is that I will step up to the plate and hold you accountable for your self-love — if I am being tough then I will just remind you of the post 😉 lots of love and hugs xxx

    • Luzanne 7 December 2016 / 11:38

      Hey, beautiful! I’ve also printed out the manifesto – I want to see if I can design one and have it printed on like an A3 so that I can frame it and hang it up in my beauty room. :) Thank you for offering to hold me accountable, I definitely need that! xoxo

  6. Carina 29 November 2016 / 15:16

    It’s so easy to fall into the trap of comparing yourself to others and judging yourself very harshly. BUT you are a wonderful, kind person and you should always remember that! <3

    • Luzanne 7 December 2016 / 11:39

      Thank you so, so much for taking the time to leave a comment, Carina – it means so much to me. :) x

  7. Sharleen 29 November 2016 / 15:17

    A great post but then I think ALL your posts are good. Wishing you a happy, healthy and great 2017

    • Luzanne 7 December 2016 / 11:39

      Thank you, Sharleen! May 2017 be your best year yet! 😉

  8. Isabelle Perkins 29 November 2016 / 16:21

    2016 has been such a stressful year for everyone – I really hope 2017 will bring more opportunities and happiness for everyone around the world. Chin up, girl – we all love you!

    • Luzanne 7 December 2016 / 11:40

      Thank you so much, Isabelle! 😀

  9. Olga 29 November 2016 / 16:28

    Yet another great blog post from my favourite blogger. 😀 You definitely shouldnt be so hard on yourself, Luzanne. You have always been so kind and generous, and always working so hard to write the best blog posts. We all see how hard you work, you should never forget that. You are beautiful inside and out..always remember how much your readers and followers love you.

    Sending much love, Olga

    • Luzanne 7 December 2016 / 11:41

      Thank you for leaving such a kind comment, Olga – it means the world to me. :)

  10. Francesca Stinson 29 November 2016 / 16:30

    I often make the mistake of comparing myself to my sisters. You know what they say: comparison is the thief of joy.

    Wishing you the best 2017!!! I look forward to seeing what you have in store for us!

    • Luzanne 7 December 2016 / 11:42

      So true!! Whenever I start to compare myself to someone else, I immediately try to stop – but sometimes you just can’t help it. We’re all human, right? :)

      I have so many great ideas for the blog for 2017 – so I’m definitely excited for that! 😀

  11. Jenise 29 November 2016 / 16:57

    Thank you for sharing, you are beautiful! Peace, love and happiness xxx ooo

    • Luzanne 7 December 2016 / 11:44

      Thank you so much, Jenise – same to you! :) xo

  12. Melissa ❀ 29 November 2016 / 17:38

    I just read this at the perfect moment! Just like Camilla, I have printed the manifesto and have pinned it to the corkboard above my desk. :) Take it one day at a time, Luzanne. Be kind to yourself, and the rest will follow.

    • Luzanne 7 December 2016 / 11:44

      Yay! So happy to hear my blog post has inspired you in some sort of way – thank you for taking the time to leave a comment, Melissa. 😉

  13. Kelebogile 29 November 2016 / 17:45

    What a brave and beautiful soul you are! I see your beauty and your pain, please don’t let your thoughts break you down.

    Keep writing and reaching, keep being you Luzanne.

    Much love,

    Kelebogile ♥

    • Luzanne 7 December 2016 / 11:46

      Thank you so much for being so kind to me, Kelebogile. :)

  14. Estee 29 November 2016 / 18:16

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us, L.

    No doubt countless others will relate to this and feel less alone. Please continue to share your thoughts and feelings with us, it is through sharing that we will all become better human beings.

    May 2017 be YOUR year!

    • Luzanne 7 December 2016 / 11:46

      Wow! I loved reading this comment – thanks so much for taking the time to write it, Estee. 😀

  15. Henriette 29 November 2016 / 18:28

    Thank you for this blog post.

    You are so brave to open up to so many people, thank you for sharing something so personal with us.

    I sincerely hope 2017 brings you all the joy and happiness you deserve! I really love reading your blog, I check your blog every morning when I get to work. I believe you will fulfil many of the goals that you have set for next year, just keep you chin up. :)

    XOXOXOXO

    • Luzanne 7 December 2016 / 11:52

      Thank you, Henriette! :) Your words of encouragement mean so much to me. xo

  16. Noorjehaan 30 November 2016 / 09:50

    This is a really great post, thank you.

    You’re an amazing blogger, I always look forwrad to reading your posts.

    Keep writing an inspiring.

    All the best for 2017. Xxx

    • Luzanne 7 December 2016 / 11:52

      Thank you so, so much, Noorjehaan! 😀

  17. Jenny 30 November 2016 / 20:31

    Hi Luzanne

    Just a couple of hopefully helpful comments written from my heart.

    You are sufficient in yourself for you, and you have proved it by the respect you have earned in your field. Don’t bash yourself – step back and look at what and where you are, and be thankful and grateful. You are doing what you should be doing – doing your best is enough – no more is required. You are the best you can be, and to be someone else is not ordained for you. Love who and what you are, and rest in that and enjoy your life. Don’t be busy worrying about what or where others are, or what they think of you. Life is too short to involve yourself in imaginations like that. Care only about you, and what you are doing for those that appreciate you, and what you do. There will always be those that make comparisons or want to pull one down – ignore them. They are not important and deserve none of your time or thoughts. There are enough followers for all bloggers – give thought only to those that follow you – and some of them might move on, but others will follow. As long as you do for you what’s in your heart, you will be catering for your followers who appreciate you and what you do. As I said life is short. It is a precious gift and not to be wasted on worry. Be proud of what you have done and are doing, and enjoy each day without any doubt or negative thoughts. If the day is not long enough, there is another day. Blessings to you Luzanne.

    • Luzanne 7 December 2016 / 11:54

      Thank you for taking the time to read my blog post and for leaving this amazing comment, Jenny. :) I am going to return to this blog post to read your comment each time I start to compare myself to others or just get down on myself.

  18. R Fourie 3 December 2016 / 16:59

    Hi Luzanne,

    Reading all the positive, inspiring comments warms my heart.

    YOU ARE ENOUGH !!

    • Luzanne 7 December 2016 / 11:55

      Thank you so much for continuously reading my blog posts, Reonette. :)

  19. Nicola 7 December 2016 / 16:21

    I can so relate this to particular subject, I’m 38 and still don’t feel comfortable pointing out the parts of me that I like or make me proud. Why is it so much easier to see the good in others but not ourselves? Make no mistake I have good days as well as not so good ones, I just take each day as it comes and if I have a bad one I resolve to make the next one a better day.

    Thanks so much for opening up and sharing once again. I enjoy your personal posts, so keep on sharing them whenever you feel the urge.

  20. Sibahle 10 December 2016 / 14:37

    Thank you for sharing. We definitely can all relate.

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